Ask Coach Jason

I’m Getting Warts From Kissing Too Many Frogs

Dear Jason,

I have gone on 421 dates in over 5 years. It is not that I think men are jerks: I just classify them as toads, frogs, and knights in shining armor. I think Prince Charming is a truly a mythical cartoon character. Helen Fisher has written a lot on how women have really come into their own and they are looking for someone equal or better… And, I am hopeful that I will find equal or better. As the bookmark on my desk states:” You have to kiss a lot of frogs on the road to happily ever after.”

My most recent dating experience turned into a relationship and 8 months into the relationship (after spending time with his 3 boys, family, church) he was charged by the Federal Government on 27 charges (fraud, money laundering, wire tampering, etc)… It hit the newspapers. Talk about a man with tons of armor to chink through… Needless to say, I bolted out of that relationship that I thought was going so well. Entered back into the dating pond and still am hopeful… Not bitter, just learning…

Where can I go to find a quality man?

Sincerely,

Kissing Too Many Frogs in Phoenix, AZ

ANSWER

My advice to you is to stop dating! At least for now… 421 dates! Wow, not only is that specific, but that’s a lot of unsuccessful dates. While I appreciate your courage and resiliency in shaking off the bad ones and moving forward, it’s clear that your approach to dating is not working.

You wrote that you dated a man for eight months and weren’t aware that he was a fraud and a crook. I bet if you look back and examine your time with him, you’d be able to see some red flags. He probably did things and said things that had your antennas going up, but you wanted this relationship to work, so you made justifications and ignored your instincts. Don’t do that! Your instincts will always guide you in the right direction, so start listening to them.

For now don’t worry about where you can go to meet a quality man. Put that on the back burner  The immediate questions that need to be answered right now are:

a) What are your core values? (e.g., love, health, family, kindness, work ethic etc…)
b) What qualities must a man possess in order to support you in your life goals?

For example if you answered that being healthy is one of your core values, you’ll want to look for a man who works out and eats nutritiously. In order to find that man, you have to go to places that promote your values; such as joining a co-ed jogging group, becoming a member of an outdoors club or you can even start your own group for singles who want to eat well.

Take a nice and needed break from the hunt. Spend some time answering the above questions. Learn more about yourself and what you want and let your instincts guide you. Only then will you find your prince.


About North Star Coaching

This country has a divorce rate of about 50%. As hard as it might seem to get into a good relationship, trust me, it’s harder to get out of a bad one. That’s why what I do is so important. I am dedicated to helping women get it right the first time. You’re here because you want to have a better life through a strong, loving relationship. Coach with me and I will show you the way.

Contact Information

info@northstarcoaching.com
(800) 973-3906
Stay in touch:
Copyright © North Star Coaching 2013. All Rights Reserved.